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What are the odds I could find the sum of numbers from 1-100?

I'd say it's fifty fifty

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How does a sheep farmer find a sheep on top of the mountain?

Acceptable

Why didn't Sean Connery get his roof fixed?

He said he "couldn't find a shingle person to do it."

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What did the ceiling fan say?

YEEEEAAAAH! GO CEILING! YOU NUMBER ONE BABY! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!

Why do most movie sequels stink?

Because movie makers are basically doing a number 2.

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What are the odds of a chronic gambler ever calling the addiction-helpline?

No seriously, I've got $100 riding on this.

Why can't two even numbers be together?

The odds are against them.

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What do you call an elephant that can't do sums?

Dumbo!

What's the best way to sum up the 90's?

90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=945