What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

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Where can you find the speed of light?

At C level

What did Euler find in his toilet?

A natural log

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How did the farmer deal with the stubborn sheep's wool?

With shear willpower

What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner?

No thanks, I'm stuffed.

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What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

What did the cop say to the doughnut as he ate it?

Rest in **police**.

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How do you know if Buzzfeed article is stolen?

You get the feeling that you've Reddit before.

Who holds up stagecoaches and steals laptop computers?

Click Turpin

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What does a bull do on a bitter cold winter day?

He goes into the barn and slips inside a warm Jersey

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day?

He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

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What happened when Turkey was accused of being Chicken?

It staged a coup

What crime is he accused of?

Vesicular Basalt

Gate Jokes More Gate Jokes

What do you say to a person who calls a black fence a gate?

No, a fence.

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.