Gate Jokes

Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?

It was only allowed one piece of carrion.

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What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

What do you say to a person who calls a black fence a gate?

No, a fence.

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

You should Bill Gates.

What vocation can transform anything into a gate?

A reporter.

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0 Jokes More 0 Jokes

Whats the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil?

No one ever paid $50 to have a Lentil on their face.

Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?

Because cot(0) doesn't exist... This joke... it burns my eyes...

Mac Jokes More Mac Jokes

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get if you cross a dog and a film studio?

Collie-wood!

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?

Lieutenant

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief.

Why did the atheist fail algebra?

He didn't believe in higher powers!

Steve Jobs Jokes More Steve Jobs Jokes

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor?

Because Sam sung better than him

Product Jokes More Product Jokes

What products do I use for grooming?

She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook."

What products do you use for grooming?

She asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

Who reached the ground first?

Noone cares.

What did the ground say to the earthquake?

It's your fault!