Mac Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

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Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why can't a Mac sing?

Because it's not Adele

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

What do you call Dubstep on a Mac?

IDropIt

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

9.81 m/s2

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Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with Windows

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Mac Os X Jokes More Mac Os X Jokes

What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer?

A co-operating system.

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

Queen Guard Jokes More Queen Guard Jokes

What is something that is always heard but never seen?

A member of the Queen's guard doing a single squat.

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

Dock Jokes More Dock Jokes

Where did the sick boat go to get a checkup?

The Dock!

Where did the sick boat go?

To the dock.

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why couldn't I run the Compressed File?

I was missing the important Bits.

What do you call a missing psychic midget?

A small medium at large.

Jedi Jokes More Jedi Jokes

What is a Jedi's favorite salad dressing?

Skywalker Ranch.

What is a Jedi's favorite car company?

Toyoda

Armed Force Jokes More Armed Force Jokes

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What does a Scottish cat say?

Mee yew!

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

Eric Clapton Jokes More Eric Clapton Jokes

Why did Eric Clapton make the switch from PC to Apple?

Well because he had a horrible experience with windows. (credit to Neil Hamburger for this amazing joke)

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.