Mac Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

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Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why can't a Mac sing?

Because it's not Adele

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

What do you call Dubstep on a Mac?

IDropIt

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time The Dock

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

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Why do white girls like Apple?

Because once go Mac you never go back.

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

9.81 m/s2

Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with Windows

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Program Jokes More Program Jokes

What programs do cultists watch shows on?

Ct-hulu

What is the program for pranking insane people called?

Pantaloon

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped you to set up your computer?

With dog diskettes!

How do you make a computer your best friend?

You buy it a nice bunch of software and get it loaded!

Blue Jokes More Blue Jokes

Why is the sky not happy on clear days?

It has the blues

What color were Kurt Cobaine's eyes?

Blue. One blue one way and one blue the other way.

Unix Jokes More Unix Jokes

What operating system does Varys have on his computer?

Unix

What was written on the UNIX user's doormat?

There's no place like cd

Jedi Jokes More Jedi Jokes

Why can't you e-mail a photo to a Jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden.

What does a Jedi say after a tragic loss of life?

May my thoughts be with them".

Bun Jokes More Bun Jokes

What do you call jokes about bread?

Buns

Why did the top bun and bottom bun of the Big Mac get in a fight?

There was bad beef between them

Big Mac Jokes More Big Mac Jokes

What do you call a burger that merged with a laptop?

A big mac*

What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger?

A big mac.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How many feminists does it take to screw in lightbulb?

It doesn't matter how many you get, because all they'll do is sit around complaining about how misogynistic the use of the word "screw" is.

What are pigskins used for?

Holding the pig together.