Mac Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

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Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why can't a Mac sing?

Because it's not Adele

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

What do you call Dubstep on a Mac?

IDropIt

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time The Dock

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

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Why do white girls like Apple?

Because once go Mac you never go back.

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

9.81 m/s2

Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with Windows

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Eric Clapton Jokes More Eric Clapton Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

What's the difference between a baby and an ounce of Coke?

Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

Dubstep Jokes More Dubstep Jokes

What do you call Dubstep on a Mac?

IDropIt

What did Hamlet say when he heard dubstep for the first time?

Aye, there's the wub

Big Mac Jokes More Big Mac Jokes

What do you call a burger that merged with a laptop?

A big mac*

Why did the top bun and bottom bun of the Big Mac get in a fight?

There was bad beef between them

Queen Jokes More Queen Jokes

Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens fart?

Because noble gases are nonreactive.

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

Navy Jokes More Navy Jokes

Why is there a flap on the back of the Navy uniform?

So the Marine have something to hold on to.

Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?

He loved to sing "Oinkers Aweight"

Unix Jokes More Unix Jokes

What's Varys the Spider's favorite OS?

Unix

What operating system does Varys have on his computer?

Unix

Blue Jokes More Blue Jokes

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time The Dock

Why is the sky not happy on clear days?

It has the blues