Mac Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

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Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why can't a Mac sing?

Because it's not Adele

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

What do you call Dubstep on a Mac?

IDropIt

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time The Dock

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

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What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

9.81 m/s2

Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with Windows

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Switch Jokes More Switch Jokes

Why did the nuke switch course?

Because a girl on the ground said "I have a boyfriend" later that day the nuke fell into depression

What do gamers who switch consoles and mathematicians have in common?

They both have problems finding x.

Program Jokes More Program Jokes

What program do Jedi use to PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi

What does Gordon program in?

FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe...

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What do you call a six sided shape that's missing?

A hex-a-gone

What's the difference between a Stormtrooper and a Zoo Keeper?

The Storm Trooper would have missed Harambe

Queen Guard Jokes More Queen Guard Jokes

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

What is something that is always heard but never seen?

A member of the Queen's guard doing a single squat.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

Why did Scottish baby sneeze?

It got week old.

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What's the best way to milk a sheep?

Ask Apple.

Why did Jon Snow stand in line at the Apple store?

For the watch!

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

Why is it easy to break in to an old man's house?

Because his gait is broken and his locks are few.

What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer?

Mice cubes!

Big Mac Jokes More Big Mac Jokes

What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger?

A big mac.

Why did the top bun and bottom bun of the Big Mac get in a fight?

There was bad beef between them