Mac Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

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Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why can't a Mac sing?

Because it's not Adele

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

What do you call Dubstep on a Mac?

IDropIt

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

9.81 m/s2

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Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with Windows

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between people on Reddit and dead people?

Dead people had lives.

What's the difference between a church bell &amp a politician?

A church bell peals from the steeple.

Program Jokes More Program Jokes

What does Gordon program in?

FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe...

Which program do Jedis use to open PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

How do you think bus driver interviews go?

Applicant: Sorry I'm late! Interviewer: You're hired!

Why do donut shops not hire security?

Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection.

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What do you get when you cross a computer with a lifeguard?

A screensaver.

What does Magneto do when his computer gets dirty?

He wipes the hard drive.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What do Porsche and Apple have in common?

New product, same design.

What is Apple users favorite movie?

No Escape

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why did the cyclops close his school?

Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends

Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror?

To see how she looks like when sleeping.

Jedi Jokes More Jedi Jokes

Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently?

Americas already got two running for president.

What's brown, sticky and runs down your leg?

Chocolate Ice Cream in July!