Mac Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

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Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why can't a Mac sing?

Because it's not Adele

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

What do you call Dubstep on a Mac?

IDropIt

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time The Dock

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

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Why do white girls like Apple?

Because once go Mac you never go back.

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

9.81 m/s2

Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with Windows

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Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him?

I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......

How can you tell between a graphic designer and recruiter?

Ask them to pronounce "hires"

Armed Force Jokes More Armed Force Jokes

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?

Submarines.

Bad Experience Jokes More Bad Experience Jokes

What Do You Call It When Someone Has a Bad Experience With Weed?

Blunt trauma.

Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with Windows

Steve Jobs Jokes More Steve Jobs Jokes

Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor?

Because Sam sung better than him

What would Apple laptops be called if Steve Jobs had been Irish?

McBook Eyre

Eric Clapton Jokes More Eric Clapton Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and an ounce of Coke?

Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window

What's the difference between a bindle of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let one fall out the window

Sea Jokes More Sea Jokes

What did fish on the kitchen bench say to the other fish?

Long time no sea.

Which two regions have the most people named John?

SEA / NA

Bun Jokes More Bun Jokes

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun?

Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

Dock Jokes More Dock Jokes

Where do sick boats go?

The Dock

Who do you call when you need a dock fixed?

A docktor.