Adele Jokes

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say Hello from the other side. I called you a million times.

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What PC does Adele use?

A Dell.

What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

What did Adele say when the chicken crossed the road?

Hello from the other side...

Why did Adele cross the road??

To say hello from the other side.

Why did Adele leave the house?

So she could say Hello from the outside.

How British is Adele?

She would call you at least 1000 times to tell how sorry she is.

Why would Adele cross the road?

To say hello from the other side.

Why can't a Mac sing?

Because it's not Adele

Whats the difference between Taylor Swift and Adele?

About fifty pounds

Who sang at the funeral of those who died in a railroads arson?

Adele. Some one set fire to the train

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What do you call a computer that only plays sad songs?

Adele

Why did Adele crossed the road?

To say hello from the other side.

What do you call a singing laptop?

Adele

What did Adele say when she crossed the road?

Sing* Hello from the other side!

Why did Adele crawl under the cow?

To say hello from the udder side. I'll take my Oscar now.

Who's Microsoft's favorite musician?

Adele

What did Adele name her sandwich shop?

A deli

What did Adele say when asked where her dog is?

Groomer has it

What did Adele's chicken say?

Hello from the other side...

What's the opposite of Adele?

Amac or BB-Mac (you pick which one's funnier)

Why did Adele cross the street?

To say hello.... From the other side.

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

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Why did the two most senior nuns in the convent break up a German terror plot to steal millions in bearer bonds?

Old habits die hard

What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War?

Juan down, a million more to go.

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How do most vegans die?

Malnutrition.

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

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Why do feminists hate Apple?

Because they're not PC.

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

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What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one?

The type of gas used.

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

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Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?

Because he couldn't keep his calves together!

Why did Opey get fired from his job as a pizza delivery boy?

Because Opey never delivered.

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How do locomotives know where they're going?

Lots of training.

Why did a Hispanic man rob a train?

He had loco motives!

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What am I?

I start with a v and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? I'll post the answer in 10 minutes.

What did the 80 grit sandpaper say to the 36 grit sandpaper?

You're a little rougher than I'm used to, but I'll grit and bear it. I'm sorry, that joke was a little rough ;D

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How can you tell if your "designer clothes" are made in China?

If they look fabric-cated Very bad, I know. "This is why we don't have friends!!"

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)