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What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

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Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What did the snake day to Adam after he bit the apple?

You owe Eve an O.

Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing?

Because they're crab apples!

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What's big, Scottish and depressing?

Scotland

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".

Mac Jokes More Mac Jokes

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

9.81 m/s2