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What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

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Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!

Why can't you have two Apple watches?

Because then it would be a pair (pear)!

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What does a Scottish cat say?

Mee yew!

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

Mac Jokes More Mac Jokes

Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.