Scottish Jokes

How do you know Sia is Scottish?

Because she loves sheep thrills! *shows self out

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Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepard?

The Stones say "hey you get off of my cloud!" The Shepard says "hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says, "Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

What's big, Scottish and depressing?

Scotland

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud.. ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says "Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..." the Scottish farmer says "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"

What does a Scottish cat say?

Mee yew!

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

Whats the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!

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What do you call a Scottish parrot?

A Macaw!

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheep farmer?

One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?

Terrier-fied!

Why did Scottish baby sneeze?

It got week old.

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

How many Scottish highlanders does it take to change a light bulb?

There can be only one.

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".

What do you call the Scottish dentist?

Phil McCavity!

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What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

What do Scottish owls sing?

Owld Lang Syne.

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill?

Because he was dead

What did the Scottish epileptic boy get for Christmas?

A Wii fit

What is the anthem for Scottish Engineers?

"All the Single Laddies" Edit: Read it carefully

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Mc Cloud Jokes More Mc Cloud Jokes

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get off of my cloud." A Scotsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".

Shepard Jokes More Shepard Jokes

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepard?

The Stones say "hey you get off of my cloud!" The Shepard says "hey Mc Cloud get of of my ewe!"

What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep?

I herd that!

Scottish People Jokes More Scottish People Jokes

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian?

I don't know man, I just fly the drones.

What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger French fries and League of Legends?

I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.

Jean Jokes More Jean Jokes

What do DNA and Diarrhea have in common?

They both run in your jeans (genes)

Why did I wear no jeans today?

My supply was short.

Scottish Man Jokes More Scottish Man Jokes

What did the Scottish man do when he ran out of pants to wear?

He kilt himself

What does the Scottish man say after love making?

I love ewe!

Rolling Stone Jokes More Rolling Stone Jokes

What are The Rolling Stones better at than the Bee gees?

Stayin' Alive

What's a racists favorite song by The Rolling Stones?

Paint it, black!

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do eggs do for fun?

They crack jokes.

What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are. (the joke is that the paint can is empty)