Irish Jokes

Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."

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What's the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding?

One less drunk.

What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year?

Patty O'Furniture

What's green, white, and orange and only appears once a year?

Irish pride

What's Irish and sits on a deck?

Patty O'Furniture

What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings?

Legolas

How many beans are in Irish bean soup?

Two-thirty-nine. One more and it'd be too farty.

What do you call 3 Irish tree surgeons?

Tree fellas

What is Irish and sits on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

What do you call a seven course Irish meal?

A 6-pack and a potato.

How many Irish folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how grand the old bulb was.

What's the difference between MLK day and St Patrick's day?

Nobody minds being Irish for one day!!!!

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.

Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?

Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.

What is the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

What is an Irish 7 course meal?

A six pack and a potato

What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day?

Counterfitz

What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner?

A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout.

What do the Irish do after winning the World Cup?

They proceed to Chapter 9: The Dark Mark

What kind of book does an Irish cultist read?

The Leprenomichaun.

Why does Irish bean soup have exactly 239 beans in it?

Irish accent) Because one more and it would be too farty.

What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn?

Get off.

What do you call Irish sunscreen?

A pub.

What's Irish and sits out all night?

Patio furniture.

What's the difference between MLK day and St. Patty's day?

On St Patty's day everyone wants to be Irish.

What's Irish and stays out all year?

Patty O'furniture.

What's Irish and stays out on your deck?

Paddy O'furniture

What would Apple laptops be called if Steve Jobs had been Irish?

McBook Eyre

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar.

Why is Irish bean soup made with 239 beans?

Because if you add even one more it gets "2 farty".

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more bean would be too farty.

What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr. Day and St. Patricks Day?

Everyone want to be Irish on St. Patricks Day.

What do you call three Irish lumberjacks?

Tree fellers Edit: Wooo gold!

How many beans do you put in Irish chili?

Two hundred and thirty-nine. Why Because one more would be two-farty.

When does an Irish potato change nationality?

When it's French fried.

Why is an Irish funeral cheaper than an Irish wedding?

There's one less drunk.

Why did the Irish Football manager flood the pitch?

So he could bring his 'sub' on

What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime?

Paddy O'Furniture!

Why are there only 239 beans in Irish stew?

Because one more, and it'd be too farty.

Why do the Irish always answer questions with another question?

He said, "do we now "

What's Irish and sits out in the rain?

Paddy o' Furniture

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Burgers ma'am.

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Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."