What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

This joke may have profanity.

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How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch?

Matt

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What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck!

What do you call an area where an Octopus is sitting?

Octopied

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Why are the Irish so rich?

Their capital is always Dublin.

What's the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding?

One less drunk.