Porch Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

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What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch?

Matt

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year?

Patty O'Furniture

What is Irish and sits on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

Who's there! Answer! Answer who?

Answer all over your porch! It's a mess out here!

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Who's Irish and sleeps on your porch?

Paddy O'Furniture!

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Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What animal is two animals at the same time?

The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :)... oh, wait.

How many cats sawed in half does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently 10 aren't enough:

St. Patrick Jokes More St. Patrick Jokes

What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day?

Counterfitz

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

Why couldn't Sally use the swings?

She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for her Birthday? We don't know, she didn't open it yet.

What has five arms, three legs and a head?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon

Patty O'furniture Jokes More Patty O'furniture Jokes

What's Irish and sits on a deck?

Patty O'Furniture

What is Irish and sits on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

Why did the dog say he was an actor?

His leg was in a cast.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles?

So he could break out.

Why did the dog jump into the sea?

He wanted to chase the catfish!

Matt Jokes More Matt Jokes

What do you call a person who is outside a door and has no arms nor legs?

Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs?

Matt. No arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob.

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

What time do philosophers like to visit the shopping mall?

At the Schopenhauer.

What did the philosopher say to his coworker?

Cleanup on the detergent aisle