Porch Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

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What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch?

Matt

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year?

Patty O'Furniture

What is Irish and sits on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch?

Paddy O' furniture

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

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What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch Matt.

Who's there! Answer! Answer who?

Answer all over your porch! It's a mess out here!

What do you call an Irishman who sits on the porch all year round?

Patty O'Furnature

What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch?

Paddy O'Furniture

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

Who's Irish and sleeps on your porch?

Paddy O'Furniture!

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How much does automail cost?

An arm and a leg.

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half of your dog...I hit it with my car.

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

When birds fly in a 'V' formation, one arm of the V is usually longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

There are more birds on that side.

What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch?

Names.

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What do funeral home staff do if they mess up transporting a body?

They go back and re-herse.

Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?

First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

What was the first mention of soccer in the bible?

When Jesus went up for the cross.

Harvard Jokes More Harvard Jokes

What do Harvard and a virgin have in common?

You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

Color Jokes More Color Jokes

Why shouldn't you use red, white, and blue paint in a watercolor?

Because these colors don't run

What does a chameleon that can't change color suffer from?

Reptile disfunction

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

Why isn't the Vice President running for the Democratic Nomination this year?

He's Biden his time.

What do you mean, ten?

Ten years Ten months Ten-" "Nine... Eight..."

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language does robot Marco run on?

Rubio on rails

What language do birds speak?

Pigeon English!