Irishman Jokes

How did the Irishman get arthritis?

By craic-ing his knuckles.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you tell an Irishman if you catch him urinating?

European.

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his bean soup?

Because one more would be too farty

Why did the Irishman put 239 beans in the soup pot?

Because any more would be too farty.

What did the Irishman say about the RC car tied to his scrotum?

It drives me nuts.

What do you call and Irishman who works in a French cafe?

Paddy Hor D'oeuvre

Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his soup?

Because one more would have been too farty.

Why did the Irishman only want 239 beans in his soup?

Because one more would be too farty.

What does a cynical Irishman drink?

Whiskey sour

Why didn't the Irishman add another bean?

He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

How does a German call an Irishman?

Komm, Sean!

What's white in the morning, white in the afternoon and white in the evening?

An Irishman trying to get a tan.

What do you call an Irishman who studies dinosaurs?

A paleontologist.

How do you know it was an Irishman?

Because I had to help him.....

You might also enjoy:

Mash Potato Jokes More Mash Potato Jokes

What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?

Shark infested mashed potatoes.

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

E Jokes More E Jokes

Who looks after the EuroDisney website?

Mick e-mouse.

What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and his E-Wheelchair?

If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again

Message Jokes More Message Jokes

How do mountainers send messages?

By ski-mail.

How does Robin hood send messages around Sherwood Forest?

By tree mail!

Exhaust Pipe Jokes More Exhaust Pipe Jokes

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?

Damn!

How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?

It depends how hard you throw them.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?

Wooden shoe like me to tell you.

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

What does Mozart put on his front lawn?

Metrognomes

Why did the arborist plant new pine trees on their front lawn?

To spruce things up a bit.

Pint Jokes More Pint Jokes

What do you call a nun who's drinking a pint?

Catholic

What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric?

Take us to your liter.