How do mountainers send messages?

By ski-mail.

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Why did the gymnast's account get sent to collections?

She had an outstanding balance.

How should you send a letter to the Easter Bunny?

By hare mail!

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How do really posh dogs send messages?

By pedigree-mail.

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"