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How do mountainers send messages?

By ski-mail.

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What four letter word has made the biggest impact in the modern world?

Send.

How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

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How do you get a woman to stop texting you?

Reply to her message within a minute

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.