How do mountainers send messages?

By ski-mail.

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Why was the paper man sent to jail?

He was caught rustling.

How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

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What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message?

To e or not to e that is the question.

How do wasps send messages?

By bee-mail.