How do really posh dogs send messages?

By pedigree-mail.

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Why did the heart get sent to police station?

Cardiac arrest.

What four letter word has made the biggest impact in the modern world?

Send.

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What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

Why did my friend throw my computer out the window?

So A Dell could message me and say Hello from the other side.