How do really posh dogs send messages?

By predigree-mail.

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How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Black mail!

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How do wasps send messages?

By bee-mail.

What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.