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How do really posh dogs send messages?

By predigree-mail.

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How do mountainers send messages?

By ski-mail.

Where do they send trickster tuna when they catch them?

A Tuna Chi-Cannery

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What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message!

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"