Mash Potato Jokes

Why did the chicken give the cat his mashed potatoes?

To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?

Shark infested mashed potatoes.

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

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What did the teacher think of your idea?

Son: She took it like a lamb Teacher: Really what did she say Son: Baa!

Why do the Japaneese have squinty eyes?

Do you have any idea how bright a nuke is

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What is the difference?

What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail

Whats the difference between a goat and a kid?

I stopped butchering goats.

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What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?

HULK'S MASH! no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle

Why couldn't the potato get off the couch?

Because it was baked.

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Why did I wear no jeans today?

My supply was short.

What are you going to get?

ME: wearing a wedding dress Compliments

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What did the Irishman say about the RC car tied to his scrotum?

It drives me nuts.

Why did the Irishman only want 239 beans in his soup?

Because one more would be too farty.

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What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?

Shark infested mashed potatoes.

Whats yellow and dangerous?

Shark infested custard

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What kind of music do cows listen to?

Dadjoke) MOOOOOsic.

What kind of car drives over water?

Any kind of car if it goes over a bridge.

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What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes