Mash Potato Jokes

Why did the chicken give the cat his mashed potatoes?

To get to the other side.

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What do you call a wrecked Irishman?

A mashed potato.

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree?

If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded.

What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?

Shark infested mashed potatoes.

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

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Who is Superman's brother?

Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good

Why do the Irish have 239 beans in their soup?

If they had one more it would be to farty

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What is your line of business?

Me mumbling: Treason stuff. Cop: Louder for the microphone. Me: Trees 'n' stuff. Gardening.

Where is your wife?

In the garden. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little.

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What kind of car does god drive?

A Christler

What kind of mic did Kurt Cobain use?

A shotgun mic!

Potato Jokes More Potato Jokes

What did the knife say to the potato?

Now I've got to cut you.

What is an Irish 7 course meal?

A six pack and a potato

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What do you call a happy cowboy?

A jolly rancher! Hahahahahahahahah you guys have no idea how alone I am.

Why was the lightbulb invented?

Somebody had an idea.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How do you stop your water from running?

Stop paying the bill.

What's the worst place to run in to your ex girlfriend?

Auschwitz

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

Mashed Potato Jokes More Mashed Potato Jokes

What do you get when a short bus gets in a wreck?

Mashed potatoes.

What are you wearing?

ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.