Mash Potato Jokes

Why did the chicken give the cat his mashed potatoes?

To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?

Shark infested mashed potatoes.

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

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What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential.

What do you call a dad that works at a grocery store?

Baghdad

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What do ladies-of-the-night do when in their garden?

They hoe it.

Where is your wife?

In the garden. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little.

Mashed Potato Jokes More Mashed Potato Jokes

What do you call an Irish milkshake?

Mashed potatoes...

What are you wearing?

ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

How did the farmer grow his portfolio?

Cornstock

Why are most Hotwheel cars Ford?

So people can grow up getting used to pushing a Ford.

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Steam Roller Jokes More Steam Roller Jokes

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

What do you call a superhero-duo run over by a steam roller?

Flatman and Ribbon.

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What's a bicyclists favorite letter?

A! (hands raised up)

Who could that be?

It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock Me: It depends on how they were raised...

Pea Soup Jokes More Pea Soup Jokes

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes