Mash Potato Jokes

Why did the chicken give the cat his mashed potatoes?

To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?

Shark infested mashed potatoes.

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

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What are you wearing?

ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.

What do you call an Irish milkshake?

Mashed potatoes...

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What is The Hulk's favorite fruit?

Avocado.

What is a mixture of Hulk and Captain America called?

Star-Spangled Banner.

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What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

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Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?

Because they both have "Sandy claws"!

What do you call a cat wearing shoes?

Puss in boots!

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How do women defy the laws of physics?

The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!

Why did the cave hate miners?

They're always picking on him.

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What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

Why can't Jimmy ride his bike?

Because he has no limbs Kinda dark, I know. It's just for those out there who would chuckle at this. ;D

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Whats yellow and dangerous?

Shark infested custard

Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house?

Because he is an ex-Terminator.