Mash Potato Jokes

Why did the chicken give the cat his mashed potatoes?

To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?

Shark infested mashed potatoes.

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

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How do you kiss a girl on Valentine's Day?

You use tulips.

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

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What's an Irish seven course meal?

A six pack and a potato

When does an Irish potato change nationality?

When it's French fried.

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What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion....I'll, uh, see myself out.

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential."

Why did the dad say the joke instead of act it out?

Because it was cheesier said than done.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

Why do feminist hate the Bible?

Because it ends with A-men

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Why did the t-rex cross the road?

Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet.

What do you call a chicken you own?

A personal fowl

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What's the best way to milk a sheep?

Ask Apple.

When should you feed milk to a baby elephant?

When it's a baby elephant!

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Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

What did the evil tin man say when he was run over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!