Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

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Garden Jokes More Garden Jokes

Where is your wife?

In the garden. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little.

What do you call an epileptic frolicking in a garden?

Seizure salad.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What did Simba say to his dad when he was moving too slow?

Mufasa!

How many dads does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to put it in and one to complain that he never screws anything anymore.

Mash Potato Jokes More Mash Potato Jokes

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.

What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?

A. They really raised Cain.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you call a pig that can't be seen?

Hamouflage

What about breakfast teaches us the difference between "interested" and "committed"?

In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.

Chase Jokes More Chase Jokes

Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one?

Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted.

Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)