Garden Jokes

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can "hoe, hoe, hoe."

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How do you know which pepper in the garden is the nosiest?

It's the one that's jalapeo business!!!

What do you call an epileptic in the garden?

Seizure salad

What did the reindeer wear to protect itself while Santa was watering the garden?

Rudolph's red hose rain gear...

What do you get when you cross worms with elephants?

Big holes in your garden

What's white, digs holes in your garden and helps with headaches?

A paracetamole!

What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

What's brown and runs around your garden?

Your fence.

How do you stop your dog digging holes in your garden?

By hiding the shovel in the shed/garage

What is the fiercest flower in the garden?

The tiger lily!

What did the priest say when watering his garden?

Let us spray.

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What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant?

Very big worm holes in your garden!

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

What's left of a garden after it catches on fire?

Chard remains.

What is a dogs favourite flower?

Anything in your garden!

How do you make an apple puff?

Chase it round the garden

What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?

It made him wed his plants!

How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?

A. They were really put out.

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?

Hide the ball it drives them nuts!

What do you call an epileptic frolicking in a garden?

Seizure salad.

What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden?

Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'

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Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

What do you get when you fart on your wallet?

Gas money

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

Seizure Jokes More Seizure Jokes

What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in your bath?

Throw in your washing.

What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw your laundry in.

Reindeer Jokes More Reindeer Jokes

Why did the doe give the faun an umbrella?

In case of reindeer. And because I caribou.

What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?

They're both brown except the snowball.

Pepper Jokes More Pepper Jokes

How do you know if a pepper is being nosy?

When he's jalapeno business!

Why are peppers irritating?

Because they're jalapeno business!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What is it called when the police work overtime?

Copper Nitrate.

How did the math teacher solve her constipation problem?

She worked it out with a pencil.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Germany hold a ceremony for the Greek bankruptcy?

They wanted to give credit where credit was due.

Why did the blonde call the welfare office?

She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke

What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters?

Weeeeeeeee!!!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What does the German President wear?

Leader-hosen.

What clothing designer do vampires prefer to wear?

Alexander Fang