Rise Jokes

What did the gardener say to the rose?

Hello, bud.

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Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help?

Because he was kneaded.

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

Cos' sin tans

Why did balloon prices keep rising?

Because they had to adjust for inflation.

What's the similarity of a dough and a human?

If they are thick, they have a hard time to rise

What did the rising sun say to the morning dew?

You will be mist.

What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying:'(

Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children?

With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.

How does an Australian shave?

Rise up lights

What did the angry dough ball say to the other dough ball?

You trying to get a rise out of me! Came up with while I was making pizza.

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

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What's better than a rose on a piano?

Tulips on an organ. Edit: accidentally a letter.

What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist?

He is risen.

Why does Bane and a monk get along well in the morning?

Because the friar rises!

What happens when the smog rises in Los Angeles...?

UCLA.

Why is Jesus' body bread?

Because given enough time it rises

Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China?

They need clean air.

What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose?

Bicycle petals!

What looks better... than roses your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up?

Its axle rose.

Why is business good on Easter?

Because prophets rise

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What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower!

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe Polish for breakfast?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

What would happen if you ate yeast and Polish?

You would rise and shine.

What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?

You make my temperature rise.

What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?

I'm not sure but I wouldn't try smelling it!

How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?

Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.

What is better than a rose on a piano?

Tulips on the organ.

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Because they had to adjust for inflation.

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What time of day are you not able to find your watch?

4:04

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ME-coli

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Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

Cos' sin tans

Why did the trigonometric function go to the tanning salon?

Cos sin tan (Because suntan)

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Why did the USA invade Panama?

Just 'Cause

What's the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all your devices & accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard

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What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?

Clash of Clans

What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash?

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Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?

Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."

What the hell is a steering wheel doing there?

The pirate replies: "Arr, it's been driving me nuts"

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Why did the Baker rob the Banker?

Cause he knead that dough.

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough