Rise Jokes

What do you say to a black man in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise.

March Madness Sale

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$14.99 $19.99

What did the gardener say to the rose?

Hello, bud.

Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help?

Because he was kneaded.

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

Cos' sin tans

What do the South and the Sun have in common?

They Both Shall Rise Again!

Why did balloon prices keep rising?

Because they had to adjust for inflation.

What saying is discouraged in both the USA and North Korea?

The South Will Rise Again

What's the similarity of a dough and a human?

If they are thick, they have a hard time to rise

What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed?

Holy Sheet!

What did the rising sun say to the morning dew?

You will be mist.

What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying:'(

March Madness Sale

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$14.99 $19.99

What happens when the Batman sees Catwoman?

The Dark Knight Rises.

Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children?

With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.

Who will win?

When two of the most populated countries clash which race will rise?

What did Jesus say to the romans after he rose on the third day and talked about their behavior?

Yall nailed it.

How does an Australian shave?

Rise up lights

What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks?

The closing of the Borders.

What do you call a rising poll?

Upvote

What is better than a rose on a guitarist?

Tulips on my pianist.

What did the angry dough ball say to the other dough ball?

You trying to get a rise out of me! Came up with while I was making pizza.

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

March Madness Sale

Love

$5.99

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman naked?

The Dark Knight Rises.

What's better than a rose on a piano?

Tulips on an organ. Edit: accidentally a letter.

What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist?

He is risen.

Why does Bane and a monk get along well in the morning?

Because the friar rises!

What happens when the smog rises in Los Angeles...?

UCLA.

What's better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ EDIT: This blew up. (No pun intended)

Why is Jesus' body bread?

Because given enough time it rises

Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China?

They need clean air.

What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose?

Bicycle petals!

What looks better... than roses your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

March Madness Sale

Birthday State of Mind

$5.99

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up?

Its axle rose.

Why is business good on Easter?

Because prophets rise

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower!

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe Polish for breakfast?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

What would happen if you ate yeast and Polish?

You would rise and shine.

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?

You make my temperature rise.

What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?

I'm not sure but I wouldn't try smelling it!

How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?

Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.

What is better than a rose on a piano?

Tulips on the organ.

You might also enjoy:

Adjust Jokes More Adjust Jokes

What do the American dollar and the American dress size have in common?

Both have had to adjust for inflation.

Why did balloon prices keep rising?

Because they had to adjust for inflation.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*

What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening?

A cannibal

Human Jokes More Human Jokes

What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.

What do you call a human that's now a cactus?

A transplant.

Hero Jokes More Hero Jokes

Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help?

Because he was kneaded.

What did Dave Grohl say when he accidentally dropped his sandwich?

There goes my hero

North Korea Jokes More North Korea Jokes

What Christmas Carol do they sing in North Korea?

We Three Kims

What's the leader of North Korea's wife wear when she's not in the mood?

A Kimono

Batman Jokes More Batman Jokes

What did Batman say at the deli?

Got ham

Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

Wrong, Batman always wins. &nbsp; Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

South Jokes More South Jokes

Why do cows from the south make the best sandwiches?

Because they are in bread.

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in the South?

Because if it were invented in the North, it'd be called the teethbrush!

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence

What is the difference between black, morbid and brutal humor?

Black humor - 12 children in one trash can Morbid humor - 1 children in 12 trash cans Brutal humor - 12 trash cans in one children