How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?

Hide the ball it drives them nuts!

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Garden Jokes More Garden Jokes

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?

Hide the ball it drives them nuts!

What do you call an epileptic in the garden?

Seizure salad

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity?

Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do kids yell at old people who are just trying to play?

GET OFF MY LAN!

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants?

They always want to play leap frog with him

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why does Heisenberg hate driving?

He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Asian?

A car thief who can't drive

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap?

She had a ball

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

What do Anne Frank and Bin Laden have in common?

They're both hide and seek champions!

Where's the best place to hide an elephant?

Dad: Where is the best place to hide an elephant? Me: I don't know, behind a big rock? Dad: In a tree silly. Me: In a tree? Dad: When's the last time you saw an elephant in a tree?

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.

Squirrel Jokes More Squirrel Jokes

What do a squirrel and a piano have in common?

Both can climb trees, except the piano

What do you get when you cross a squirrel with a Hummer?

A gray and red hairy paste.