Dead Body Jokes

What's the difference between a musician and a dead body?

One composes, the other decomposes...

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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What prize did the dead body receive?

Atrophy

What's Alderaan's main export?

Dead bodies.

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night?

Morgue Attendant

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Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar?

Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss

Compose Jokes More Compose Jokes

What's the difference between a musician and a dead body?

One composes, the other decomposes...

What is Mozart doing right now?

De-composing

Prize Jokes More Prize Jokes

What prize did the dead body receive?

Atrophy

Why did the scarecrow receive a prize?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Funeral Director Jokes More Funeral Director Jokes

What does the funeral director say to the 11am service goers?

Mournin'

Why did the funeral director cover his mouth?

He kept coffin

Porch Jokes More Porch Jokes

Who's there! Answer! Answer who?

Answer all over your porch! It's a mess out here!

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between joghurt and America?

If you leave joghurt alone for 200 years, it will grow a culture!

What's the difference between a piano, glue, and a tuna?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna (What about the glue) I knew you'd get stuck on that

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why was the cab driver contemplating his life?

Because he had nothing to chauffeur.

What elements make up life?

Lithium and Iron