Dead Body Jokes

What's the difference between a musician and a dead body?

One composes, the other decomposes...

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What prize did the dead body receive?

Atrophy

What's Alderaan's main export?

Dead bodies.

How do you find a dead body?

Download Pokemon Go.

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night?

Morgue Attendant

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Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they are really good at it

How do ants hide from aardvarks?

They disguise themselves as uncles!

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What did Batman say to the joker when he finally caught him?

Gotham

What has 18 legs and catches flies?

A baseball team

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why did the cat go to the hospital?

To have a CAT scan done.

Why can't you ever trust a cat?

Because they are always lion

Alan Ture Jokes More Alan Ture Jokes

What did the funeral director do with Alan Turing's dead body?

He encrypted it

What is the speciality of Alan Turing?

He was homogeneous

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you call a second hand gold necklace?

Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)

Who will take the second shot in this pool game?

Find out after the break.

Policy Jokes More Policy Jokes

How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They haven't got a policy on that.

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What's a life without manitees?

A life with out porpoise.

What bring a dead duck back to life?

A dead bullfrog.

Compose Jokes More Compose Jokes

What's the difference between a musician and a dead body?

One composes, the other decomposes...

Why did the fish sink?

This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick.