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What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What did the Russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!

How much does it cost to buy multiple prosthetic limbs?

An arm and a leg.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window?

Kurt and Rod

What is green sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?

Chimney Cricket!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What have men and spray paint in common?

One squeeze and they're all over you.

Why did the man throw duck food at Nurse Jackie?

Because she was a quack.

Porch Jokes More Porch Jokes

What is Irish and sits on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

How do you start a conversation about men's rights?

Mention feminism.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.