Lourdes. Mother Theresa always goes there.
Tally Hoes
SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!
Because it's Lit.
He wrote, "i is the square root of negative 1."
Because running is past tents.
E.T learned English and wanted to go home.
Incorrectly is the only word spelled I n c o r r e c t l y
One is still in the EU.
An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one
Because it's lit
A well educated Barista
When they came to Ellis Island, not one of them could speak a lick of English, but they all had "To NY" on their hats.
A native Texan saying, "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt."
Past tense.
The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.
American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language.
Once.
A teabag stays in the cup longer...
Because there is a mile separating the two s'es.
Ello, 'ello, 'ello!
Mine!
I do.
Speed bump ahead
He wanted someone who understood and case.
Yes++
Kids are their definition of a good time.
Because he always put 5 commas before chameleon.
A teabag stays in the cup longer
Subordinate clauses....
Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in.
Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over.
M80
A bull-shiht!
Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.
Thesaurus.
A pomegranate.
Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in English. What's yellow and lies in a pond? An excevator. You don't think this is funny? Neither does the operator.
My English Monologue Draft...
Alfred the grate!
OC) Too many persuasive esses.
An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...
About 3000 miles!
Because it's
In the MLA boxing ring
Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke
English teachers and Alzheimer's patients
When the English got Crecy
Synonym Grahams
His poem had ABAD rhyme pattern.
A synonym roll
THE ROLLING STONED!
Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me.
They both hand out long sentences.
The guy would survive the first round.
When she hands out long sentences.
They prefer complete sentences.
The harder you hit them the more English you get.
An English sleep dog.
Because they speak English.
Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters
Five more years of Cameron
Their knees. (Not sure if this one translates well to English)
Sorry.
The harder you hit them, the more English you get out.
Norman Rock Wells.
HUSBAND: "An English girl." After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: "Where is my gift " WIFE: "Wait for nine months!"
Burgers ma'am.
Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.
Incorrectly.
Anticlimactic
Me: *Thinking about how dogs understand more English words than I understand dog words* Science stuff.
The English cat. Un deux trois cat sank.
"Nobody's perfect!"
Smiles. Because there's a mile between both S.
Student: I don't know, my tv doesn't pick it up
E.T. learned English and wanted to go home
The harder you hit it the more English you get
Sorry, eh.
Pupil: I don't know my TV doesn't pick it up
Because umbrellas can't walk
Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters
Hint: It's not English Spanish.
The harder you hit them...the more English you get out.
Lucas refrigerators.
That would be a dead giveaway.
A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.
What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN Saddest joke ever.
Freedom of speech
With lots of drafts
To avoid the draft!
One's constantly preparing for lunch.
About 2-3 inches.
Because ladies go in first.
A GIbronie!
Liberal Arts Degrees.
Someone who is fed up with people.
Beaucoup.
Looks like we have debris all over the place
They don't want to have to retrain them.
Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.
