Mile Jokes

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

What is the longest word?

Smiles... It has a mile between the two 'S's

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour?

A jet propelled elephant!

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What do Reddit and building a mile long fence have in common?

Post...repost.....repost....repost...repost...

Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?

Because it's a FAST food!

What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour?

A fuel injected pickle.

What's the longest word in the English language?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.

What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home?

She moved.

What's the longest word in English?

Smiles. Because there's a mile between both S.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles" because there is a mile between each S!

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?

A blonde parade!

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Train Jokes More Train Jokes

How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?

He was a good conductor.

How do you get an elephant on a train?

You take the "S" out of sub, and the "F" out of way. Say it out loud

Long Word Jokes More Long Word Jokes

What's the longest word in the English language?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

Jean Jokes More Jean Jokes

Who's in there?

He yells He gets a reply "jean-claude van damme" All 4 of you,get out!

Whats Marios favorite type of jeans?

Denim denim denim!

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why do feminist hate the Bible?

Because it ends with A-men

What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends?

A witch with a blindfold!

German Jokes More German Jokes

Why did the Germans bail the Greeks out?

Because they took Pita on them

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a fish and a mountain goat?

Fish muck about in fountains

What's the difference between England and an egg cup?

An egg can stay in the cup longer

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

What do you call a big cat disguised to blend in with a herd of sheep?

A sheopard.

What did the sheep at the fraternity say?

Braaaaaaaah

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you want on your tombstone?

Pepperoni and cheese.

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.