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What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home?

She moved.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

What do you call a Mustard that keeps remembering things that haven't happened yet?

Dijon-vu mustard... (Sorry)

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays?

Their bigotry.

What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?

A poultry-geist.

Discover Jokes More Discover Jokes

Which company saw the end of disco coming from a mile away?

Discover.

Why are there different species of hyena?

Isn't every hyena we've discovered a spotted hyena?

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?

Because it's a FAST food!

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."