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What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!

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What do you call someone who takes things literally?

A kleptomaniac!

Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally

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How do you know when you're lonely?

When 90% of your search history is ASMR videos.

What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!