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How do you keep a blonde at home?

A. Build a circular driveway.

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What will Tesla build this Christmas to help santa deliver presents?

An elf driving car

Why did the nickel jump of the building but the dime did not?

Because the dime had more cents.

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How are babies and strippers alike?

They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home

Which appliance in your home do you think is the most useful?

His answer: "My mom."