Accident Jokes

What kind of wine causes the most accidents?

Shartonnay

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

Why did the clam get in an accident?

He was talking on his shellphone.

Who Got in an Accident?

There was a fork in the road.

What is it called when a ninja flees the scene of an accident?

Hidden Run.

Why couldn't they find the cheesemaker after the accident?

He was trapped under da-Brie!

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

She moved.

What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home?

She moved.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

Be too drunk to find your keys.

You might also enjoy:

Wheelchair Jokes More Wheelchair Jokes

Whats the hardest part about cooking vegetable?

Getting the wheelchair in the oven.

What cell service do nuns in wheelchair have?

Virgin Mobile

Mustang Jokes More Mustang Jokes

Where do most Mustangs get into car accidents at?

Leaving Mustang meets.

How much horsepower does a mustang have?

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is Santa Claus always so Jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live.

What do you call a below average sized dog?

A sub woofer Yeah, I know I'm barking up the wrong sub reddit.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What is the difference between a PhD in mathematics and a large pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four

What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

What did the Canadian eel say when the bartender asked him if he'd had enough?

No, I think I'd like some more-ay.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why are rivers lazy?

Because they never get off their beds.

When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

Instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

Shellphone Jokes More Shellphone Jokes

Why did the clam get in an accident?

He was talking on his shellphone.

How do fish make calls?

On a shellphone! My 7 year old self was very proud of coming up with this one....

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why hasn't Mexico got an Olympic team?

Because the ones who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S

What do you call a marine who can't swim?

A submarine.