Orphanage Jokes

Why did I leave my grades at the orphanage?

I couldn't raise them

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What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know I just fly the drone.

What did the orphan say when the orphanage burned down?

Nothing. He just laughed.

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation check to the orphanage.

What's the difference between an Isis camp and an orphanage?

I don't know, I just fly the drone

Why did the Boeing 747 crash into an orphanage?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

Where did the orphans go after the Orphanage blew up?

Everywhere

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Why did the airplane crash into the building?

BECAUSE THE PILOT WAS A LOAF OF BREAD!

What kind of pizza do pilots like?

Plain.

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Why don't atheists use exponents?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

What do you get by cross-breeding a jehovahs witness and an atheist?

Someone who pointlessly knocks on the door.

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What if horses rode horses?

And then THOSE horses rode MORE horses Then it's like, whoa dude! Check out that big stack of horses!

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

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What's the best nation in the world?

Donation. What's the best city in the world? Generosity.

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

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What do you call Iron Man and silver surfer when they work together?

Alloys.

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

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Bread Jokes More Bread Jokes

Why are bakeries always so depressing?

They're bread inside.

Why does bread not have eyebrows?

Because it's bread.