What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

Previous Random Joke Next
Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why can't you be the king I know?

The king you have inside you SIMBA: That doesn't make sense. I think I'd remember if I ate a king.

What do you think of Miles Davis?

He kind of blew

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How about the early worm?

How'd that work out for him

Why do churches ban Wifi Networks?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants?

Arrg, it's driving me nuts!

What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

Why is the LSU football team like my car?

They both used to have Les (less) Miles!

What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?

A blonde parade!

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What is it called when a ninja flees the scene of an accident?

Hidden Run.

What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home?

She moved.

Brake Jokes More Brake Jokes

How do you make a car top?

You gotta 'tep on the brake 'tupid!

What do you call a cab driver who lost his brakes?

A screwdriver

Rush Jokes More Rush Jokes

What is the difference between leaves and a car?

One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake.

Why was Homer Simpson in such a rush to get to the Kwik-E-Mart?

He desperately needed Apu.

Intersection Jokes More Intersection Jokes

How does a blond cross the road?

A brunette is on a busy street across from a department store she needs to visit, and is looking for an intersection to cross over when she spots a blonde walking out of the store. The brunette waves and calls out over the traffic noise, "hey there! How do I get to the other side?" The blonde looks confused and calls back, "you ARE on the other side!"

What does a traffic cop do when he wins some money?

Buys an intersection for a private business work.