Driver Jokes

Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair?

Because they're bad conductors.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?

Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!

What did the driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Why did nVidia built the first self-driving car?

On all conditions) Because their drivers keep crashing.

What are you doing, idiot?

Me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

How Am I Driving' sign* Panics Hello?

There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs?

Because they're good at picking their drivers.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What driver doesn't have a license?

A screwdriver

How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets?

Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

When I see a "How am I driving?

Sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

You might also enjoy:

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

What goes hum-choo hum choo?

A bee with a cold!

What is faster hot or cold?

Hot because you can actually "catch a cold".

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

How can I help you?

Me: "Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List!" Agent: "Umm..." Me: "DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"

What is the deadliest bear?

Seriously... I don't know the punchline to this, help me out.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

Why are Women like buses?

You wait all day for one then find out 48 other people in the local area have been riding on her.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?

Bombs

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?

The attorney charges more.

What's the difference between a praying nun and a girl taking a bath?

One has hope in her soul and the other has soap in her hole

Drunk Driver Jokes More Drunk Driver Jokes

What is the difference between a drunk driver and a high driver?

The drunk driver will blow through a stop sign without even knowing it was there.. The high driver will wait until it turns green

What's the difference between a high and drunk driver?

The drunk driver goes through the stop sign, while the high driver waits for it to turn green.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What's the best part of running a marathon?

Ha! You actually thought I ran a marathon! Jokes on you, I'm just drunk!

Why don't the Mexicans have an olympics team?

Because anybody who can run jump or swim is in the States.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue?

Mandel broth Ha ha ha The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier..