Driver Jokes

Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair?

Because they're bad conductors.

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Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Why did nVidia build the first self-driving car?

Because their drivers keep crashing.

How Am I Driving' sign* Panics Hello?

There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving

Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs?

Because they're good at picking their drivers.

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What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What driver doesn't have a license?

A screwdriver

How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets?

Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

When I see a "How am I driving?

Sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

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F1 Jokes More F1 Jokes

Why the F1 driver doesn't get along with his crew?

He has thrust issues.

Who is the best Podracer in Star Wars?

Michael Chewbacca EDIT: Some people don't get the joke..... Michael schumacher is a F1 race car driving legend.

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

What do you call five black cars that all crash into each other?

A three car pile-up.

What do you do if your video card driver keeps crashing?

Take away it's drivers license.

Audi Jokes More Audi Jokes

What does all Audi owners have in common?

A golden d

What car do polite cowboys drive?

Audi!

Haulin ' Oats Jokes More Haulin ' Oats Jokes

Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?

He was tired of Haulin' Oats

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

What was Justin Timberlake called when he was a kid?

Justin Timberpuddle!

Bus Driver Jokes More Bus Driver Jokes

What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver?

The bus driver stops to let the kids out.

What do you call a bus driver who helps old people and parents with children on and off the bus?

A stand up driver.

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

What happens when you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

Why do people call their weed the Koran?

Because if your burn it, it gets you stoned

Cab Driver Jokes More Cab Driver Jokes

Why was the cab driver contemplating his life?

Because he had nothing to chauffeur.

Why did the cab driver did not get time for his family?

Because he was Uber busy.