Driver Jokes

Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair?

Because they're bad conductors.

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Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Why did nVidia build the first self-driving car?

Because their drivers keep crashing.

Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs?

Because they're good at picking their drivers.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What driver doesn't have a license?

A screwdriver

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How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets?

Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

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F1 Jokes More F1 Jokes

Why the F1 driver doesn't get along with his crew?

He has thrust issues.

Who is the best Podracer in Star Wars?

Michael Chewbacca EDIT: Some people don't get the joke..... Michael schumacher is a F1 race car driving legend.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

Why is Santa always happy?

Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)

Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

Why did the bat miss the bus?

Because he hung around for too long.

Why planes are faster than car and buses?

Because they are almost never **tired**.

Prick Jokes More Prick Jokes

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrarri?

Porcupines have pricks on the outside.

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

Darn!

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

What happened when Red-Beard's ship and Blue-Beard's ship crashed into each other?

They were MAROONED!

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

What does an aardvark use when he has a cold?

An ant-ihistamine!

What Pokémon spys on you while he has a cold?

Peek achoo!

1980 Jokes More 1980 Jokes

Why are 1980 pennies worth more than 1979 pennies?

Dads joke) The same reason 10 pennies is worth more than 9.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What did the black kid say to his mom when he had diarrhea?

Help! I'm melting!

Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body?

Dumbbelldor.