Driver Jokes

Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair?

Because they're bad conductors.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire.

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

What did Dodi Fayed say to his driver?

Want to go out with me and Di tonight?

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Why did nVidia build the first self-driving car?

Because their drivers keep crashing.

How Am I Driving' sign* Panics Hello?

There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving

Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs?

Because they're good at picking their drivers.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

What driver doesn't have a license?

A screwdriver

How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets?

Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

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Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

When should I reach the bus station if the bus leaves at 1530 hrs?

Before 15:30...

Who's there! Annetta! Annetta who?

Annetta joke like that and you're off this bus!

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What is the name of the flower you find between your nose and your chin?

Tulips.

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome: Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

What's brown ans sticky???

A stick :) haha (yes i know its super lame)

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

Why were the Ten Commandments so powerful?

Because they were set in stone.

How would you tell if the Queen was stoned?

Her Highness will tell you

Haulin ' Oats Jokes More Haulin ' Oats Jokes

Why did the farmer start a punk rock band?

He was tired of Haulin' Oats

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say?

Argh it's driving me nuts!

What is 4 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women crazy when they see it?

An empty toilet paper roll.

F1 Jokes More F1 Jokes

Why the F1 driver doesn't get along with his crew?

He has thrust issues.

Who is the best Podracer in Star Wars?

Michael Chewbacca EDIT: Some people don't get the joke..... Michael schumacher is a F1 race car driving legend.

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

What's orange and sounds like a carrot!!!????

A snowman blowing his nose!!!!!!!!

Why did the H blow itself up?

Because the Jihad.