Bus Jokes

How did a bit travel from the CPU to the HDD?

It took the bus.

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Why did I stop reading M.C Escher books on the bus?

Because I always get weird stairs

How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

You Pokmon!

What do you call a bus that identifies with no gender?

A transit

What do you call that feeling when the bus finally arrives?

A peasantfeeling

What do you call a late teacher?

Mr. Bus

How do you get heaps of Pikachu on to a bus?

You Pokémon

How do you turn fruits into vegetables?

Drive a bus through a pride parade

What did the Circle say to the Square on the bus?

Oh no! I've got on the Rhombus!

Why did the kid drop his ice cream?

Because the bus hit him.

Why did little Johnny lose his ice cream?

He got his by a bus. My little brother just told me this!

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What has 5 teeth and 60 eyes?

A bus full of old people

What do you call an Arab man who drives a bus?

A bus driver.

What do you call a secret agent running for the bus?

A Russian spy.

How do you get Squirtle, Charmander and Pikachu onto a bus?

You Pokémon.

How do you get 50 Pikachus on a bus?

Poke 'em on.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

What do you call a walrus that's been hit by a bus?

Dead.

What do you call a bus driver who helps old people and parents with children on and off the bus?

A stand up driver.

Why are the buses in London red?

You'd be too if you came every 10 minutes.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus!

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What bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?

Columbus

How do you get Pikachu on the bus?

Poke 'em on!

Why did the bat miss the bus?

Because he hung around for too long.

Why couldn't Stevie Wonder drive the bus?

There's no steering wheel in the back of the bus.

Where is children?

Latvian man respond "Children is dead from childbirth." Bus leave.

What do a car, a bus, and a family have in common?

The car and the bus both have wheels.

Why did the bus stop?

Because it saw the zebra crossing.

What do you call 50 feminists on a bus?

Trick Question. You can't fit 50 feminists on a bus.

What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head?

Dead.

Why should you never run behind a bus?

You will get exhausted.

What "bus" crossed the ocean?

Columbus.

What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus?

He waits at the next station

What do monsters play when they are in the bus?

Squash.

What's the worst part about 30 lawyers in a bus going over a cliff?

The bus could fit 30 more lawyers.

Why planes are faster than car and buses?

Because they are almost never **tired**.

Why should you never run in front of a bus?

You will get tired.

What do you call a business that doesn't sell Apple's sea monster?

A bus

When should I reach the bus station if the bus leaves at 1530 hrs?

Before 15:30...

Who's there! Becka! Becka who?

Becka the bus is the best place to sit!

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

Why are you on this bus?

Aren't you supposed to be driving around in a car

What is a bus?

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Which end of a bus is it best to get off?

It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.

What drives you?

Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning M: missing the bus

Why are we making such a big deal about the wheels on the bus going round and round?

They're wheels.

How do you get a Charizard on a bus?

You Pokémon!

What kind of bus can cross the ocean?

A Columbus.

What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus?

He waits for it at the next stop.

Who's there! Annetta! Annetta who?

Annetta joke like that and you're off this bus!

What's a blind man doing on a boat?

Waiting for a bus.

What did granny say after leaving her handbag on a bus?

Allahu Akbar!" I'm going to hell for this.

What do you call a teacher that's always late?

Mr. Bus (think about it)

What do you call a bus full of lawyers driving off a cliff?

A Good Start.(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=obKLdou0LH0)

Why couldn't G Unit get on the Bus?

They did not have 50 Cent.

How do you get Peekachu on a bus?

You Pokemon

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Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Dragonball characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but it takes him 20 episodes.

Why is it a bad idea to change clothes at a Pokemon's house?

Because he might Pikachu!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Who's driving?

Immigration.

Why are you driving without a license?

Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What do you call the international program that helps clowns with their personal space problems?

Clowns Without Borders.

What will Tesla build this Christmas to help santa deliver presents?

An elf driving car

Cliff Jokes More Cliff Jokes

What's the definition of mixed emotions?

When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.

What do you call a cat sitting on the edge of a cliff?

A precipuss.

Arab Jokes More Arab Jokes

Why are camels also known as Ships Of The Desert'?

Because they're full of Arab seamen.....

What does the arabs put in their Mexican food?

Allah-penos

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What's the good word?

Legs. Spread the word.

What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?

Names

Wheel Jokes More Wheel Jokes

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!

What is the best music to air drum to while driving?

Def Leppard, because you can keep on hand on the wheel.

Trick Question Jokes More Trick Question Jokes

What do you call 50 feminists on a bus?

Trick Question. You can't fit 50 feminists on a bus.

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Trick question. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags.