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Which end of a bus is it best to get off?

It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest?

Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

What's the difference between Michael j. Fox and an earthquake?

Earthquakes stop shaking

Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

What "bus" crossed the ocean?

Columbus.

Why are we making such a big deal about the wheels on the bus going round and round?

They're wheels.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

Why did the business dog chase his tail?

So he could make ends meet!

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

How many women are necessary to change a lightbulb?

One... but, what does it matter if she will ask a man to do it!

How many "friend zone" guys does it take to put in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter how many. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.