What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How Many Wal-Mart Workers Does it Take to Screw In a Lightbulb?

One to screw in the lightbulb, stock four carts of supplies, and handle seventeen simultaneous customers at any one time for five consecutive hours.

Who was the best boxer of all time?

Jim Jones, I heard he took out 909 people with one punch.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you open a door underwater?

You swimming pull

What did the hipster say when a starbucks opened in his neighborhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

Where does Sean Connery put his beard clippings?

His shavings account.

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.