Old People Jokes

What do you call it when old people are forced into slavery?

Indentured servitude.

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Whats do a baby and old people have in common?

They both get ditched in the park

What kid of music do old people listen to?

Hip-Pop

What technology are old people better at using than young people?

Life support.

What has 5 teeth and 60 eyes?

A bus full of old people

Why do old people read the Bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the Bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

What kind of underwear do old people wear?

Depends.

What do old people smell like?

Depends

How do old people go to the bathroom?

Depends.

What do you call a bus driver who helps old people and parents with children on and off the bus?

A stand up driver.

What do old people often do?

Die

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What do old people always keep in their back pocket?

Depends.

Why is your shirt on wrong?

Daughter: I think you old people call it: "second base"

Why are there so many old people in Church?

They're cramming for the final.

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why don't old people like tennis?

There's too much racket

How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing?

They look in the obituary

What do old people with Alzheimer's often say?

I don't remember.

Why do old people prefer to live in one story houses?

There close to the ground.

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Bathroom Jokes More Bathroom Jokes

What are you when you're in the bathroom?

European

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?

Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

Ditch Jokes More Ditch Jokes

Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?

To turn the blinker off.

What's green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

A girl scout that got hit by a car.

Underwear Jokes More Underwear Jokes

What sort of underwear does the ghost of a French baker wear?

Boulangerie.

What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR &amp?

A STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why is NATO afraid of Russia?

Cause Russia's been Putin them on notice. Just thought of this.

Why aren't there more jokes about Jim Jones?

I think it's because usually the punchline is too long

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

Because they are set in the future.

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did the spaghetti say to the other spaghetti?

Pasta la vista, baby!

Why didn't the ghost have any babies?

Because he had a Halloweenie! (Hollow-weenie)

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

How do you frighten a Bee?

Sneak up behind it and yell BOO BEE!

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the inn keeper say to the Big Dipper when he asked if he could rent a room?

Sorry this is only a four star hotel.

What did the ninja say to the waiter when asked what to drink?

The ninja replies with "Wata!"