Future Jokes

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (Jesus Christ this one's even worse than the last)

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What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What do you call a man who can smell the future?

Nostrildamus

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?

The lightbulb works fine...

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future?

The iPhone Ayyyye-t

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?

The future

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What do you call a hacker who can see the future?

A 4chan teller.

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

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Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What's the difference between a School and an ISIS training ground?

I don't know man, I just fly the drone

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of lizard can run the mafia?

The Iguanodon

What kind of cars do rabbits drive?

Hop rods.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why was Simba unable to save his dad in The Lion King?

He couldnt Mufasa enough.

Why is Hannibal so rich?

Well, he save on groceries.

Release Jokes More Release Jokes

Why hasn't Nintendo released a Mario themed basketball video game?

Because Japan isn't good at basketball.

Why did they release Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 before 1, 2 & 3?

Because off sequence, Yoda was.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What is the difference between a pub and an elephant fart?

One is a bar room, and one is a Barooooooooooooom!

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Frame Jokes More Frame Jokes

Why did the console player get sick in the art gallery?

There were too many frames.

What did the painting on the wall say to the cop?

I've been framed!

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

How could you know that?

Darth: I have felt your presents

Why didn't the tree get any presents for Christmas?

He was knotty.