Future Jokes

What do you call a black rapper with no future?

Future

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Why aren't there any mexicans in Star Trek?

They don't work in the future either.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future?

Psychic-delic.

What do you call a man who can smell the future?

Nostrildamus

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

Because they are set in the future.

How does a psychic cokehead tell the future?

With a magic 8-ball

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How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?

The lightbulb works fine...

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future?

The iPhone Ayyyye-t

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Why are you so ugly?

Boy: I'm you from the future.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

What do you call a morbidly obese person who can predict the future?

A four-chin teller.

What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?

The future

What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future?

Cristobal

Why aren't there any Muslims in Star Trek?

Because it's the future

What do you call a hacker who can see the future?

A 4chan teller.

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why do Asians have squinty eyes?

Because their future is so bright

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out.

Why are there no Puerto Rican's in Star Trek?

They won't work in the future either.

Why aren't there any republicans in Star-Trek?

Because it's the future.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

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Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What is this movie about?

It is about 2 hours long.

What do you call a movie about dancing robots?

Step up: transformers:v

Star Trek Jokes More Star Trek Jokes

Why are there no Puerto Rican's in Star Trek?

They won't work in the future either.

Why aren't there any mexicans in Star Trek?

They don't work in the future either.

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?

One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

How do you break a Polish man's finger?

Punch him in the nose.

Past Jokes More Past Jokes

Why are there so many Redditor archeologists?

Because loves digging up the past.

Why are there so many women archaeologists?

Because women love digging up the past.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why was most of Jesus' walk downtown very awkward?

Because his friend asked him when he thought they should cross.

Why is Jesus so bad at hockey?

Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between you and I?

About 12 letters

What's the difference between a married guy and a single guy?

Wait, let me ask and make sure it's ok to tell the joke.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why do geologists have children with birth defects?

Because they practice relative dating!

What's the difference between a pot head and a person who physically abuses children?

One is good at rolling blunts, the other is good at bowling runts.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

Why does it smell of tires?

There are two black people fighting.