Future Jokes

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (Jesus Christ this one's even worse than the last)

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What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What do you call a man who can smell the future?

Nostrildamus

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

Because they are set in the future.

How many people from the future does it take to change a light bulb?

The lightbulb works fine...

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future?

The iPhone Ayyyye-t

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

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How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?

The future

What do you call a hacker who can see the future?

A 4chan teller.

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between seal hunters and teenagers?

There's none, both like clubbing.

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do hipsters drink coffee so quickly?

They want to finish before it's cool.

What'd she want?

Me: nothing. Mgr: Where're all the donuts

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do you call am alligator in a vest?

An illogical situation imagined by a child.

What is the collective noun for children?

A migraine.

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What does a pig put on it's nose for a sunburn?

Oinkment!

What did one nose say to the other nose when it was crying?

It told it a Nak-Nak joke! (In my language Urdu, Nak means nose.)

Frame Jokes More Frame Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and a framed picture of Jesus?

You only need one nail for the frame

What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom?

I've been framed.

Vision Jokes More Vision Jokes

What kind of vision does Fetty Wap have?

17/38

Why is the all-seeing eye the symbol of the occult?

Because they want us all under super-vision!

Star Trek Jokes More Star Trek Jokes

Where do Star Trek fans work out?

At the He's Dead Gym.

Why do Trekkies never grow out of Star Trek?

They always somehow just Klingon to it.

Old People Jokes More Old People Jokes

How do old people go to the bathroom?

Depends.

Why are there so many old people in Church?

They're cramming for the final.