What would I do if Future tried talking to me?

I'd autotune him out.

How many didn't?

Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)

Why does nobody talk to circles?

Because there is no point!

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How do you know if a Korean gang robbed your house?

Because all the rice is gone, and three hours later, they are still trying to back out of your driveway.

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

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What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (Jesus Christ this one's even worse than the last)

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.