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What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?

To keep their hats pointed.

How do pianists remember which groceries to buy?

They use a Chopin Liszt!

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

How much for this melted ghost?

Sir that's a bed sheet "You have a lot of them! And they're packaged IS THIS GHOST HELL" This is a Macys

What did the ghost wearing sox say?

Shhoooooooooooooeeeeeesss!! Shoooooooooooooooooose!

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

Predict Jokes More Predict Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What would you name someone who can predict when people sneeze?

Nostrildamus