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How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call A man doing Laundry?

Non-existent

What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat?

Men, get in the boat!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Which phone??

Person 1: Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2: Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1: So what about summers then? Person 2: Same, it freezes often as well

What, I'm Asian?

Slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

What did the ghost say during its planned act of terrorism?

Allaboo Akbar.

What are you planning on doing on MLK day?

Her: I plan on sleeping all day Me: ...Why Her: I want to have dreams too

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?

Hebrews.

What do the Irish say when they cheers their beer?

Good Mornin'!

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket?

In case Johnny Onion Rings!

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?

Just in case you get a hole in one.

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

Because they are set in the future.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.