How much has this man had to drink?

Nurse: "I can't tell." Dr: "It's ok; you can tell me. I'm a doctor"

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

How many Russians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and other to drink until the room spins.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the fish say to the man draining its aquarium?

WATER YOU DOING

What did the man say when he ran out of clothes?

Oh dear, it seems I'm shirt on clothes.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist?

Ask them what 'unsigned' means.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What kind of doctors are like spiders?

Spin doctors!

Why is an apple a Dalek's favourite fruit?

Because it keeps the Doctor away!

Dr. Jokes More Dr. Jokes

What can you give me to keep it in?

Dr.: a plastic bag

Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery?

Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. Couldn't pull a laugh out of her.