What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Where were you supposed to poop?

2-year-old: The potty. Me: So why didn't you 2: I'm too busy.

Why is Hillary spelled with 2 L's?

One for 2008 and one for 2016.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What's the difference between a government bond and a man?

The bond matures.*

Why didn't the man go to dat place?

Cuz dis-place-ment a lot to him.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops after 3 Ho's

How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?

1 or 2? 1... or 2?

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1 to hold the bulb in place and 100 to spin the house around it.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind?

Second Caribou: A maybee.

What is a joke that only makes sense in your own regional dialect/accent?

Sorry for a post that's not a joke but I'm interested. Here's one from where I am. These two ducks are flying over Ballymena. The first one says, "quack quack" and the second one says, "slow down! I'm coming as quack as I cyan."

Victim Jokes More Victim Jokes

What did the earthquake say to all of its victims?

Oh, sorry...my fault.

Why does my van have windows?

I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.

Ash Jokes More Ash Jokes

Why did the campfire turn into a forest fire?

It wanted to get off its ash.

What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down?

He fell on his ash.

Bernie Jokes More Bernie Jokes

Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech?

It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

What would you call the Easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

Crispin Jokes More Crispin Jokes

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

Who's there! Crispin! Crispin who?

Crispin crunchy is how I like my apples!