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Why was 1 all salty?

Someone told him it was 2's day.

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What are four ways of spreading information that begins with "tel"?

Telephone, telegram, television, and tell a woman.

What do you call someone who only tells knock-knock jokes?

A Jehovah's Witness.

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What is up with 1, 3, 5, 7, 9?

I can't even...

What do you need 4 dollars for?

3's enough. Here's 2." and gives him 1.

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Why was 1 all salty?

Someone told him it was 2's day.

What's the difference between procrastination and laziness?

RemindMe! 2 days to edit this post