Why was 1 all salty?

Someone told him it was 2's day.

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How do you end an argument with a woman?

Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over.

How do you make a Gorilla laugh?

Tell it an elephant joke!

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How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

What does 1+1=?

Window.

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What's the difference between procrastination and laziness?

RemindMe! 2 days to edit this post

How bad?

Really bad, you have 2 months." OMG "APRIL FOOLS!" Whew- "You have 2 days."