Why was 1 all salty?

Someone told him it was 2's day.

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What do you tell a mathematician if he does drugs?

You're high-on-pot...enuse.

How do you know if someone is Puerto Rican?

They tell you.

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What do sperm and politicians have in common?

About 1 in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming human.

How many black metalheads does it take to change a light bulb?

100. 1 to change the light bulb and the other 99 to complain about how the old light bulb was much better.

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Why was 1 all salty?

Someone told him it was 2's day.

What's the difference between procrastination and laziness?

RemindMe! 2 days to edit this post