Victim Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

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What does Bill Cosby have in common with Ninjas?

Their victims never see them coming.

What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice?

Jesus

Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

What was the victim of the car crash wearing?

A Casualty (Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt) 100% Guraneed Originality You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is...

What does Dracula say to his victims?

It's been nice gnawing you.

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

Who were the fastest readers of all time?

The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

Why does my van have windows?

I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.

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What did the earthquake say to all of its victims?

Oh, sorry...my fault.

Where did he get his clothes?

That's right - a victim

Who's the victim?

Battlefield: Call of Duty

What did the cannibal say to his victim before they went for a long walk?

You're gonna be pooped after this.

What did the psychopathic dry cleaner say to his victims?

DYE, DYE, DYEEEEEEE!

How did the roman cannibal feel about his victim?

He was glad he ate her.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why couldn't the redneck kid play baseball?

Because he fell down a stairs and his dad definitely didn't break his legs.

Why is the new Brexit diet so popular?

All you gotta be is a little more than halfway into it and the pounds will start falling.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man who cuts down trees?

A tree feller.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

Not all of them.

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

How long did Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion have to wait for the Tin Man?

Ten minutes.

What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do you say when someone dies while getting an erection?

He came and went at the same time.

What's wrong with them?

His boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor say to the man who couldn't pee?

Urine trouble!

What do they call the doctor who released private health information after he got mad at his being given away?

A Hipaacrite

87 Story Jokes More 87 Story Jokes

Who were the fastest readers of all time?

The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

Who were the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. Went through 87 stories in 10 seconds flat.

Ash Jokes More Ash Jokes

Why did the campfire turn into a forest fire?

It wanted to get off its ash.

What did Ash say when Pikachu went missing?

Where did my Pokemon Go

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

What does a muslim say when he makes a mistake?

Allahu Mybad

What do you call a muslim body builder?

A protein sheikh