Victim Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

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What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice?

Jesus

What was the victim of the car crash wearing?

A Casualty (Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt) 100% Guraneed Originality You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is...

What do you call a man with a flamethrower?

2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

Who were the fastest readers of all time?

The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

Why does my van have windows?

I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.

What did the earthquake say to all of its victims?

Oh, sorry...my fault.

Where did he get his clothes?

That's right - a victim

Who's the victim?

Battlefield: Call of Duty

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Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Why do black people call each other "son"?

Well, you never know!

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Who went into a witche's den and came out alive?

The witch!

When Chris brought over his musl*m girlfriend to meet the family, what did they say?

Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What is the difference between me and being artistic?

The second letter.

What do you call it when you second guess your decision to book a stay at a Native American resort?

A reservation reservation reservation. Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!

Twig Jokes More Twig Jokes

Why couldn't the beaver cook his twigs?

He only had Non-Stick pans.

What do you call a child who shoots with twigs at a PTSD victim?

TWIGERING

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How will the Duggar's stay on TV and make money?

By moving the show to a "true crime" channel and calling it "18 Victims and Counting".

What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head?

Down for the count!

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

What's not 50% off today?

Health insurance

What did you get 100 in?

Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well at least you can add!

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why do people prefer shooting stars to vegetables?

Because they're meteor

What did Joss say on the last day of shooting the Avengers?

Whedon?

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the doctor go on a ski trip alone?

He was part of doctors without boarders.

Who and Facebook?

When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason.