Which 2 Birthdays go by the quickest?

The twenty second ones and the thirty second ones

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of Helium?

HeHe

How does Avis feel to be #2?

It Hertz

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What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds?

An elephant with hiccups!

Why is food better than men?

Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.