Why was the women unable to leave the boutique?

She couldn't find the Dior

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What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave?

Namaste.

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What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

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Why don't women need a watch?

There's a clock on the stove.

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of at tennis court?

Annette!