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What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

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What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

What are we going to spend 10 million dollars on?

Asks his wife. "31 black"

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What's the best part of a boxer's joke?

The punch line Found in BL magazine

What's the funniest thing you can find in a closet?

Robin Williams