What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawkings after a house fire.

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What's the easiest way to tell if somebody's lying?

He/she's not sitting or standing!

Why do chickens sit on eggs?

Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old.

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What is black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & blue?

A nun falling down the stairs

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Be sharp or Be flat.

House Fire Jokes More House Fire Jokes

What do you call a politician in a house fire?

Burning Sanders!

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.