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What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

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Why didn't the leopard go on vacation?

It couldn't find the right spot.

Why are you wrapping me up like a burrito & how did you find a tortilla this big?

Me: Shhh! This is my fantasy & burritos don't talk.

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Why is Stephen Hawking so controversial?

He never changes his position.

What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and his E-Wheelchair?

If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again

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What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!