What do you call a politician in a house fire?

Burning Sanders!

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What does weed and the Quran have in common?

If you burn it you get stoned

How do fireflies lose weight?

They burn calories.

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What do you call a politician in a house fire?

Burning Sanders!

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

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What is the best place for politicians?

Election posters. There they are portable, silent and easy to remove.

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.