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What do you call a politician in a house fire?

Burning Sanders!

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What if I see a puppy?

What if my house burns down

What did the beaver say when his house burned down?

Damn

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What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawkings after a house fire.

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What signal tells you that a politician is lying?

The lips are moving

What do sperm and politicians have in common?

About 1 in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming human.