They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.
Because I don't joke about jokes.
Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.
A really strong gust of wind.
The lips are moving
When their lips move
Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money
I'm PC2!
Rave at the party.
Logic
Election posters. There they are portable, silent and easy to remove.
Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.
They both need to be changed after a while for the same reason
Their mouth is moving.
Because Satan has more politicians to help him.
Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.
The clock is still right twice a day.
A cat will lie your face. A politician will lie your face.
Two: One to change it, and the other one to change it back again.
Because all the politicians are in hell.
They both have a one in 100 million chance of being human.
A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.
A church bell peals from the steeple.
One acts solely for money, the other is the actor.
Just ask them to read this word: unionized.
About 1 in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming human.
Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.
When they get a hole-in-one they write down *zero* on the scorecard.
His lips are moving.
Reelection.
Civic doody.
About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human.
Between a politician and a news camera.
You hold the lightbulb and every politician screws you!
They both enjoy handshakes.
Because deep down, they're good people.
Burning Sanders!
So they can speak more fluently
Two. One to change it and another one to change it back again.
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed...
Pork and bologne sammiches.
What's Allepo
His lips are moving
Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it.
Poll dancing!
Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)
Lmao Zedong
Who else invents things?
I don't know I just fly the drones
DATE: Yes
Pasta continuous.
They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.
Brexit
Stand up!
He uses Hare Spray... (Ill see myself out)
Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet They think I'm pee!
By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them.
A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.
You can only 'ran' it's past tents.
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.
Stephen Hawking doesn't walkie or talkie.
