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What's the difference between a cat and a politician?

A cat will lie your face. A politician will lie your face.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the difference between CNN and Al Jazeera?

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al Jazeera shows them landing.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why should you never trust someone straight after coitus?

Usually they're lying

Why is everything lying on the floor?

My mom asked Gravity, I replied.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

What is a Redditors favorite animal?

A cat because we are lonely... I need friends.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Whats the worst joke you can play on an American?

Two pies to the face and one somewhere in a field in Pennsylvania.

Why do ghosts like going out?

So they can drink boo-ze and get sheet-faced.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Why is heaven a paradise for the common man?

Because all the politicians are in hell.