Band Jokes

What do you call a guy with no musical talent that hangs out with the band?

The drummer.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam?

Nobody would name their band Pearl Jelly.

What do you call a band of unlucky politicians?

The Dead Kennedys.

What do you call four white guys in a band?

The 4Skins

Which band does rockclimbers listen to?

Rolling Stones

What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood?

Super Barrio Mothers

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?

System of a Downs My Chemical Imbalance. Youth In Asia

How did Metallica get their band name?

They Bonded over lunch.

What do you call a band of otters!?

Otterpop

What band does a wannabe join?

Rock Band for the XBOX 360

Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset?

Because you didn't ask him what band he's in.

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Why was the band late to their gig?

Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.

Why wasn't the fish allowed to play in the band?

Because he couldn't tuna piano!

Why did the Turkey join the band?

Because he had two Drumsticks.

What happens when you cross the band "The Knack" and a bottle of Corona?

A song called "My Corona"

What's the difference between an flautist and a Porsche?

Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche.

What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash?

A StayGosaurus

What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time?

Tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))

Why did they let the chicken join the band?

Because he brought his own drumsticks

Why did the band 999 megabytes break up?

Because they couldn't get a gig.

What did the band consisting only of postmen call itself?

Vanmailen.

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What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band?

KGBGs

Why can't the band Def Leppard make music anymore?

They all lost their hearing

What band performed at the Jefferson memorial?

Nickelback

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs

What band is a cow favorite?

Moody Blues

What band was Harambe In?

Gorillaz

What do you call a crocodile in a band?

A crocstar

What instrument do piggys play in a band?

Pigcussion!

What would happen if The Styx and The Stones got a band together?

It wood rock.

What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Slayer.

What is Queen's (the band, not the monarch) favourite type of luggage?

Carry ooooooooonnnn, carry ooooooonnnnnnnnnn

Why isn't the band "1023 MB" famous?

They haven't had a gig yet.

What did the band Weezer say about the nudist beach?

All the mammaries made me want to go back there!

What should we call our band?

Ponies! -Dude, we're a heavy metal band. -Satanic ponies!

Have you heard of the band 1023MB?

They haven't got a gig yet.

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Note Jokes More Note Jokes

Where do naughty rays of light go?

Prism (Note: I made this joke up. Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour.)

What do you call a bee that has been run over by a car?

Bee flat Music joke for those who don't understand. B flat is a note.

Drummer Jokes More Drummer Jokes

Why was the band late to their gig?

Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.

Why do drummers carry transparent lunchboxes?

So they know if they are going to the gig, or coming from it.

Wad Jokes More Wad Jokes

What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula?

Count Dracula.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What animal is faster than a cheetah?

A cow dropped out of a helicopter.

How do chemists get high?

They drop acid of course

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

Your head hits the ceiling!

What is the difference between my car and Whitney Houston?

My car can hit 50.

Xbox Jokes More Xbox Jokes

Why doesn't anyone ever add Paul Walker on Xbox?

He spends all of his time on the dashboard.

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

Instrument Jokes More Instrument Jokes

What instrument was the predecessor to the tuba?

The oneba

What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

An Orca-stra.

Failure Jokes More Failure Jokes

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.