Band Jokes

What do you call a guy with no musical talent that hangs out with the band?

The drummer.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam?

Nobody would name their band Pearl Jelly.

What do you call a band of unlucky politicians?

The Dead Kennedys.

What do you call four white guys in a band?

The 4Skins

Which band does rockclimbers listen to?

Rolling Stones

What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood?

Super Barrio Mothers

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?

System of a Downs My Chemical Imbalance. Youth In Asia

How did Metallica get their band name?

They Bonded over lunch.

What do you call a band of otters!?

Otterpop

What band does a wannabe join?

Rock Band for the XBOX 360

Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset?

Because you didn't ask him what band he's in.

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Why was the band late to their gig?

Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.

Why wasn't the fish allowed to play in the band?

Because he couldn't tuna piano!

Why did the Turkey join the band?

Because he had two Drumsticks.

What happens when you cross the band "The Knack" and a bottle of Corona?

A song called "My Corona"

What's the difference between an flautist and a Porsche?

Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche.

What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash?

A StayGosaurus

What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time?

Tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))

Why did they let the chicken join the band?

Because he brought his own drumsticks

Why did the band 999 megabytes break up?

Because they couldn't get a gig.

What did the band consisting only of postmen call itself?

Vanmailen.

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What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band?

KGBGs

Why can't the band Def Leppard make music anymore?

They all lost their hearing

What band performed at the Jefferson memorial?

Nickelback

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs

What band is a cow favorite?

Moody Blues

What band was Harambe In?

Gorillaz

What do you call a crocodile in a band?

A crocstar

What instrument do piggys play in a band?

Pigcussion!

What would happen if The Styx and The Stones got a band together?

It wood rock.

What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Slayer.

What is Queen's (the band, not the monarch) favourite type of luggage?

Carry ooooooooonnnn, carry ooooooonnnnnnnnnn

Why isn't the band "1023 MB" famous?

They haven't had a gig yet.

What did the band Weezer say about the nudist beach?

All the mammaries made me want to go back there!

What should we call our band?

Ponies! -Dude, we're a heavy metal band. -Satanic ponies!

Have you heard of the band 1023MB?

They haven't got a gig yet.

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Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What you call a crocodile covered with tortillas?

A tacodile

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

Failure Jokes More Failure Jokes

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Where're we going?

Who the hell did I just drop off at school!

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What do you get when you cross a duck and a cat?

A Chinese restaurant's newest entree!

What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo?

An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal.

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

Who would still buy a Note 7 after all the controversy?

A Muslim

Where do cats write down notes?

Scratch Paper!

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did the baby say to its mom after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

What do you call a cow that just had a baby?

Decalfinated

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

Why do slovaks don't like Czechs?

They prefer cash.

Why do women prefer old gynecologists?

Their shaky hands!

Dunk Jokes More Dunk Jokes

How do you cure the hiccups?

Dunk your head in a bucket of water and pull it out twice.

Why did the reporter only dunk chips in the middle of the dip?

He just wanted the inside scoop.