Band Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

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What do you call a guy with no musical talent that hangs out with the band?

The drummer.

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

Nobody would name their band Pearl Jelly.

What do you call a band of unlucky politicians?

The Dead Kennedys.

What do you call four white guys in a band?

The 4Skins

Which band does rockclimbers listen to?

Rolling Stones

What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood?

Super Barrio Mothers

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?

System of a Downs My Chemical Imbalance. Youth In Asia

How did Metallica get their band name?

They Bonded over lunch.

What do you call a band of otters!?

Otterpop

What band does a wannabe join?

Rock Band for the XBOX 360

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Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset?

Because you didn't ask him what band he's in.

Why was the band late to their gig?

Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.

Why wasn't the fish allowed to play in the band?

Because he couldn't tuna piano!

Why did the Turkey join the band?

Because he had two Drumsticks.

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

Why did the band Wham! break up?

Because he didn't wake him up before he went went. It's, people.

What happens when you cross the band "The Knack" and a bottle of Corona?

A song called "My Corona"

What's the difference between an flautist and a Porsche?

Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche.

What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash?

A StayGosaurus

What do you call the retarded guy that follows the band around?

The Drummer

What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral?

Don't stop, bereaving!

What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time?

Tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))

Why did they let the chicken join the band?

Because he brought his own drumsticks

What are we gonna name our band?

From crowd look at the one guys hair! LMFAO *they look at each other*

Why did the band 999 megabytes break up?

Because they couldn't get a gig.

Which band does feminists hate the most?

Cis-tem of a Down

What's the difference between a group of crafty midgets and a jogging club comprised exclusively of women?

The former is a band of cunning runts...

What did the band consisting only of postmen call itself?

Vanmailen.

What's the name of the Russian Bee Gees cover band?

KGBGs

Why can't the band Def Leppard make music anymore?

They all lost their hearing

What band performed at the Jefferson memorial?

Nickelback

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs

What band is a cow favorite?

Moody Blues

What band was Harambe In?

Gorillaz

What do you call a crocodile in a band?

A crocstar

What instrument do piggys play in a band?

Pigcussion!

What would happen if The Styx and The Stones got a band together?

It wood rock.

What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Slayer.

What is Queen's (the band, not the monarch) favourite type of luggage?

Carry ooooooooonnnn, carry ooooooonnnnnnnnnn

Why isn't the band "1023 MB" famous?

They haven't had a gig yet.

What did the band Weezer say about the nudist beach?

All the mammaries made me want to go back there!

What the band's name?

Me: looking over desk for ideas Inbox(29)

What should we call our band?

Ponies! -Dude, we're a heavy metal band. -Satanic ponies!

Have you heard of the band 1023MB?

They haven't got a gig yet.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between reddit and a fish?

Fish are cool

What's the difference between a bag of chips and a duck with the flu?

One's a quick snack and the other's a sick quack!

Wad Jokes More Wad Jokes

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula?

Count Dracula.

Slam Jokes More Slam Jokes

Why is poo tapered?

So your arse doesn't slam.

Why are Muslims so violent?

Because I slam.

Failure Jokes More Failure Jokes

What do you call a clean, good looking well behaved monster?

A failure!

What do you call a dead asian?

A failure

Pony Jokes More Pony Jokes

What did the pony say when he had a sore throat?

Pardon me, I'm just a little hoarse.

What did the pony say when it had a sore throat?

Sorry I'm a little horse!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why does tigger have no friends?

Because he plays with pooh.

What do you call a person who plays the viola?

A violator.

Dunk Jokes More Dunk Jokes

Why did the reporter only dunk chips in the middle of the dip?

He just wanted the inside scoop.

How do you cure the hiccups?

Dunk your head in a bucket of water and pull it out twice.

Instrument Jokes More Instrument Jokes

What kind of fish loves to fix instruments?

A tuna.

What do you call an instrument that gets a president impeached?

Harmonica Lewinsky.