What would happen if The Styx and The Stones got a band together?

It wood rock.

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What happened in China on Christmas?

The Rice-child was born.

What happened to the over amorous clam?

It pulled a mussel.

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What band performed at the Jefferson memorial?

Nickelback

Why can't the band Def Leppard make music anymore?

They all lost their hearing

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What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?

Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.

What do you call a stoned pig?

Baked Ham